Notes: How to Win Friends and Influence People

This book was published in 1937 and sold more than 15 million copies.  The contents are 100% applicable even today.  It’s irresistible for me to think how easy to understand those golden rules are but how hard to implement them.  Why? Because we don’t take care ourselves as much as we do for our children.  Let me explain.  

When you go through these 10 takeaways, imagine if they are your way to treat your kids or the way you want them to treat others.  

1. Give people a fine reputation to live up to = Don’t be a jerk but kind.

2. Encourage others to talk about themselves = Listen to yours kids to talk about themselves. 

3. Become genuinely interested in other people = Learn from others and differences.

4. Don’t resist people, AGREE first = 1st principe for communication. 

5. Appeal to their nobler motives = Encourage kids to do good.

6. Talk in terms of other people’s interests, not yours = Your kids are interested in fun stuff but not homework.

7. Make the other people feel important and do it sincerely = Is your kid important to you?

8. Ask questions instead of giving orders = Guide your kids to be independent instead of making them your puppet.

9. Use encouragement & make their fault seem easy to correct = Will you yell when your baby is failed to stand up? 

10. If you want people to like you, you must like them first = Kids can sense if others like them or not and they don’t like people who don’e like them.

People are not robots looking for efficiency in life.  Most of things we do or crave are to satisfy our limbic system which is a very ancient part of brain responsible for basic needs such as hunger, thirst and sex.  In order to live in the society, kids need to develop their prefrontal cortex to supervise their limbic system so they’ll be likable and form better relationships with others.  

The fact that this book is still inspiring many adults seems proving that, many adults are not likable and form better relationships with others.  Could it be because, the school didn’t teach us and our parents didn’t give us such guidance?  Since we can’t go back in time, what matters is what do we do NOW.  So, if you’re like me, the parents of young kids or babies, let’s train ourselves together to qualify teaching our kids.  

About Dan Zen Learning

This is provided by Dan who’s a serial tech entrepreneur, IT sales & marketing professional with 12 year working experiences in Japan, 10 years in Taiwan, 6 years in Beijing and learning something everyday. Blog / Podcast / YouTube